


I'd Rather be free (escapisim)

by favorroses



Series: Leviathan Lavellan [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, Post-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Anchor (Dragon Age), Trans Inquisitor (Dragon Age), Trans Male Character, levi has alot of shit he needs to work out, leviathan lavellan, solas takes the fucking arm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23293228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/favorroses/pseuds/favorroses
Summary: Or, the 5 times Leviathan has a nightmare, and the one time he doesn't.These are all short drabbles, and are not beta read, sorry for the spelling errorsThis will be updated when possible :^)
Relationships: Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Lavellan/Dorian Pavus, Male Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus, Male Lavellan/Dorian Pavus
Series: Leviathan Lavellan [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1675144
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> https://imgur.com/L8TjPK9
> 
> Leviathan, for reference

_ /Leviathan let out a blood-curdling cry, as he looked down at what used to be his left forearm, then back at Solas, who took the anchor and left through the eluvian. His arm had been taken from him. Tears spilled down his cheeks, and he cried after Solas, holding the stump of what used to be his arm with his hand. He fell onto his knees, the elf falling onto his stomach as he laid there, slowly dying. / _

Levi awakes with a soft gasp.    
  


He wasn't there, he was alive. The male looks beside him,  _ Dorian is safe.  _ Leviathan lets out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding onto. Silent tears drifted down his face as he ran his right hand through his hair, trying to not wake his sleeping lover beside him. Ever since what happened in the elven ruins they were taken to, Leviathan was having horrid terrors every sleep. Curling into himself, He pulls his knees up to his chest and buries his head into them. Leviathan cries silently into his knees, in an attempt to keep quiet and not wake Dorian.

Hours pass, Leviathan still up in his ball, looking over at Dorian every once in a while. He sighs softly, trying to slowly get out of their bed to walk over to their balcony. Outside it’s still dark, the sun just peeking out from the horizon. Leaning onto the rail, He sighs as he watches the sky, looking at the glowing scar of light across it. Letting out another breath of air, he looks back at the sunrise peeking out behind some clouds, watching the beautiful scenery surrounding him. He feels a bit more at ease, at least, for now. 

Dorian wakes to a cold bed, his lover missing. “Leviathan?” He looks up and around for the elf, seeing the male on the balcony after scanning the room. Tossing the blanket to the side, he gets up and walks over to him. Approaching softly, he watches Levi carefully, as if he could break or disappear at any moment. “Amatus?” Dorian carefully takes the male’s hand, intertwining their hands, looking up at his lover “Did you get another?” He worries, constantly. The night terrors have been seemingly getting worse every night. 

Levi watches as Dorian puts his hand over the elven males, and he squeezes it, nodding softly “I didn’t want to wake you, Vhen’an. You are tired,” he whispers, still keeping his head down. 

“I may be tired Amatus, but I’m never too tired to help you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ir abelas, Ar lath ma vhen’an - I'm sorry, I love you, my heart.

_/Leviathan grasps the sending crystal, his hands violently shaking. This couldn’t be happening. Why? Why after this, what they’ve been through, couldn’t they just catch a break? Creators, no, of course not. The pair never was able to, after all. Levi holds onto the amulet as if he could send his magic through the crystal, A hope that just maybe. Maybe, he could fix this._

_“I. I should have listened to you, Levi. It's,” a pained gasp from Dorian “It’s still like how it always is, here,” he pauses “As selfish as this is, I wish you were here, Amatus.”_

_“Ir abelas, Ar lath ma vhen’an,” He whispers into the crystal, his soft voice breaking as he says so. Tears slid down his skin, his heartbreaking as he heard the last gasps from his lover. “I’m so sorry..”/_

  
  


Leviathan takes a sharp inhale as he springs up from his slumber. Another nightmare, He assumes. The terrors were coming in stronger, and more frequently. Starting to not only happen at night but rather during the day while he was performing his duties and in between, during his little day naps. The male had been losing any form of rest, the terrors taking over any form of it. Levi was barely running, and his lover wasn’t there to help him this time. Dorian, who had just recently moved back to Tevinter, Was unavailable at those times. Either he was resting himself, or was working, and he didn’t dare to disturb him with these tiny little flaws he had been having with his rest. He would be alright, for a bit longer. He needed to do what was best for the inquisition. He needed to work harder, faster, stronger and beat Solas at his own game.

Quickly fixing his hair, and uniform, satisfied with his looks, he headed out from the broom closet he was having a nap and headed down to the war room. Every second that he could, he spent it in there and thought, tried to plan, do something useful. Leviathan worked himself to exhaustion on most days, considering he didn’t sleep much anymore. He barely was seen outside of the room, never joining his friends at the Herald's rest for drinks, or seen in the gardens tending to the growing plants. Levi did his planning, every day, all day, and never stopped. On a good day, it took all three advisors to get him to leave and walk around skyhold. On the worst days, he never left. Spending his hours by the large wooden table, staring at the map before him, thinking of what else they could try, who else they could contact. Nothing.  
  
Sighing, he leans over the table again, palms resting on it. _back to the drawing board…_


	3. Chapter 3

Another startling wake. He gasps slightly, taking a deep inhale, trying to catch his breath after that, reaching over to dorian with his left- why can’t he feel him, he’s there, oh mythal, he really was losing it this time. The male had tears in his eyes, his ears slowly drooping down. He couldn’t touch him. He can’t  _ feel _ Dorian. He had the same dream again. Where he couldn’t save Dorian. Where he could all but sit where he was and listen. But now he was here.

  
_ And he couldn’t touch him. Creators, why couldn’t he touch him? _ _   
_ _   
_ Levi takes another shaky breath, Running his right hand through his hair.  _ Right, it was gone. Taken from him. Cullen had to hold him down as Cassandra- _ \--    
  
Another shaky gasp and he pulls his knees up and rests his head on his knees as he thinks back on the memory. When he stepped back out of the eluvian, Dorian told him that he collapsed right after. He vaguely remembers the panicked cries from his friends and lover as they rushed him back to the winter palace. As his anchor cracked and burned with electricity like energy, burning and shocking anyone who dared to touch the charred flesh of his arm.    
  
The panicked cries from Sera, as she ran ahead, trying to get the attention of anyone at the Palace who could help. The Concerned words from Cassandra as she carried him back through the eluvians and to the palace. The Panicked, scared cries from Dorian as he begged his Amatus to not leave him, not like this. The terrified gasps and screams as they got to the palace and rushed him to the healers, to which Levi was rudely awoken to Cullen holding him down as Cassandra cut off the dying limb.    
  
Levi looks over at the nub that once was his arm. He saved thedas with that arm, and now it is gone. The gentle touches he gave, the ones he received, gone. The arm he used to hold his spirit blade, to deal lethal blows, to send electric shocks of purple magic from, gone. Levi would be lying if he said he didn’t miss having the arm. It made life harder, In the beginning, he couldn’t even dress himself. He got pains, even though the arm and anchor were no longer there.    
  
He couldn’t stop himself from letting a few tears fall, seeping into the fabric of his pants. Levi reaches out with his right hand, _ the one still there _ , and intertwines his and Dorian's hands. The other male smiles in his sleep and squeezes his hand.   
  
_ He was here. Dorian was here. _


End file.
